OK. It’s no longer a conspiracy theory. I now know for a fact I “am” living in a simulation! Yesterday, my niece Leah Ketchen and I were talking about elephants. Later on, someone on TV told a joke about elephants. “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” And now, I walk into Walmart to be greeted by none other than an Elephant plushie congratulating me on my graduation to the acceptance of the fact that I am most definitely living in a simulation! Don’t call me a conspiracy theorist. I have graduated to become a CONSPIRACY REALIST. — Jonathan Tad Ketchen

OK. It’s no longer a conspiracy theory. I now know for a fact I “am” living in a simulation! Yesterday, my niece Leah Ketchen and I were talking about elephants. Later on, someone on TV told a joke about elephants. “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” And now, I walk into Walmart to be greeted by none other than an Elephant plushie congratulating me on my graduation to the acceptance of the fact that I am most definitely living in a simulation! Don’t call me a conspiracy theorist. I have graduated to become a CONSPIRACY REALIST. — Jonathan Tad Ketchen